♥ Saturday, February 2, 2008♥
CHARACTERS
Princess --> Jasmine Lana Lafair Alexandra
Best friend--> Kate mary anne evans
Kate's boyfriend-->Andrew Anthony watsons
Dad--> Ken Lana Lafair Alexandra
Mum--> Jaslene Sue misley
Grandmother--> Megan Lana Lafair Alexandra
Grandfather--> Zachary Lana Lafair Alxendra
Weird old hag--> LindaMary Jane a.k.a Lady Jane
The most LADY-LIKE girl in class--> Ashley Wilber Rudops
Class weirdo--> Simon Spare Kennis
Dog from grandmother-->Tika
SCHOOL--> ST.ALEXAMDRA HIGH
SHANNA ELLABELLAàENEMY
SELINA DOUGLESàNASTY
LENNY JAMESàEVIL
TINAàGRANDMA’S ROYAL DOG
JESSYàFAVORITE MAID
ALANà CLOTHES DESIGNER
JAMES NATASHAà CLASS FLIRT
Luciana mancha evansàPRINCESS(ALMOST MARRIED DAD)
Friday, 1 December, 5:00a.m.
Guess what! I just had the craziest dream ever! (okay, it was reality)
Dad woke me up in the middle of the night and said that he needed to talk to me.
DAD: Jas, i have something to tell you.
ME: What?
DAD:You are the only child in this family since me and your mother divorced.
ME: I know that.
DAD: Jas, you are a...
ME:What?
DAD: A PRINCESS
ME: You woke me up in the middle of my dreams just to joke with me? If you need a little chat, you can tell me so. Besides, how can a ALL STRAIGHT Ds GIRL be a PRINCESS?
DAD: Jas, i'm not lying.
ME: So you mean i'm a princess? oh! i get it! DADDY'S LITTLE PRINCESS eh?
DAD: NO! A real one that lives in the palace with maids serving you. one who travels in a carriage.
ME: Then, give me a reason why you choose to tell me NOW?
DAD: Your grandmother who you have never seen before wants to get you a stepmother and so, she is holding a royal ball.
ME:So, it make you a king or a prince?
DAD: Yes.
Do i look like i want o rather NEED a stepmother?
People say that stepmothers are:
BOSSY
EVIL
CRUEL
NASTY
and all the negative stuff. Dad seems so NOT elated to know about this piece of news.
REMINDER TO THE NEW PRINCESS:
Tell kate about everything!
10 THINGS I NEED TO DO
TOMORROW
1)ASK DAD ABOUT ROYAL BALL
2)RING KATE AND TELL HER EVEYTHING
3)PREPARE DRESS FOR ROYAL BALL
4)REQUEST DAD FOR A VISIT TO PALACE
5)REQUEST A PRINCE SEARCH FOR ME (WOOTS!)
6)BRING KATE TO PALACE(IF POSSIBLE)
7)WARN KATE NOT TO EXPOSE ME TO ANYONE
8)ASK DAD FOR MORE POCKET MONEY(NO PRINCESS HAS ONLY FIVE BUCKS EVERYDAY!)
9)BUY ACCESORIES FOR ROYAL BALL
10)MAKE UP A NAME FOR STEPMOTHER
Friday, 1 December, 7:00a.m.
Dad woke me up again! Now what?! He woke me up to tell me to dress up for my breakfast in the palace. We had to arrive there at 7:30 SHARP. When I say SHARP, I mean SHARP. Daddy told me to choose the colours. I chose pink and white.
By the way, I need to ring Kate! There’s a weird old hag in the living room talking to my Dad. She just makes my Dad look guilty. She taught me or should I say, DEMANDED me to:
Walk with one foot in front of the other like a model (too bad I’m not a model)
Eat elegantly (it should be easy)
Not to give disturbing looks at the table
Give a sweet smile whenever people look at me
Not to yawn (DIFFICULT TASK!)
Cough or sneeze with handkerchief on mouth or nose
Talk less eat more! (do I even look like a rubbish dump?)
Saturday, 2 December, 10:00a.m.
I am so living in a pink and white room! Grandma told us to move in so that NASTY would think that we are rich all along and let us abandon our newly painted house that she calls CREEPY. It’s NOT creepy with spider webs daggling from wall to wall. You can’t even find a little web. NO!
*NASTYàstepmother
Back to my room, it is all so spacious! From the ground to the ceiling, it is like 25 METRES! How I wish I can bring Kate into the palace too but grandma said that there would be no rooms for the maids and guards. That’s fine with me. The only problem or should I say, BIG PROBLEM is with that phone. It is NOT AVAILABLE! I don’t have a cell! How can I contact Kate like that? Give her a cup and put a string through it and connect it to my cup? She’s living 80 km away from me! Where can I find such a long rope! At the south pole probably. How about sneaking into dad’s room? Great idea!
10:20
I just sneaked into dad’s 25metres room that is so white with a couple bed that is, of course, white. I have one of those in my room! Mine is white and pink with two fluffy heart pillows. Anyway, I told Kate everything and she was elated to know that she has a princess friend!
Saturday, 2 December, 1:00p.m.
I’m back from PRINCESS SCHOOLING. The weird old hag had only one pupil and guess what! The only one in that boring room was JASMINE LANA LAFAIR ALEXANDRA! Make it short, it’s ME.
Weird old hagà Linda Mary Jane a.k.a Lady Jane
She taught me the SKILLS of Ashley.
Ashleyàclassmate in St. Alexandra high
Ashley is so gentle that she laughs with her hand over her mouth. Nobody in class does that. We laugh like crazy morons. Even when our class weirdo, Simon who has a seroious pronunciation problem, calls Ashley ASS. That’s insulting to me but joking to her. I seriously just envy Ashley! I am so rough and stupid. Can’t imagine me being Ashley and somebody call me ASS. I would just scold that person until end of school! Luckily he calls me JAS and not stupid stuff.
Sunday, 3 December, 10:30a.m.
I’ll meet up with Kate later for my Royal Ball stuff. This time, I got permission and did not sneak my way out! I got permission from:
Ken, my Dad
Megan, my Grandma
Linda, the weird old hag
Jaslene, my mum (IT DOESN’T EVEN BOTHER HER ANYWAY.)
And Tika!
Tika is my a gift from grandma. She’s not a pen, not a book, not a bag but a PET! Tika is my new puppy! She is brown and hairy but cute! I’m going to dress her up and bring her out! The maids have just delivered nice outfits for me! They are so PINK so ME!
I’m thinking of having a online clothes list so that I can choose my outfit easily! Time to go out with Kate Evans!
Sunday, 3 December, 5:00p.m.
I’m back from my shopping spree and I am BLOATED! I wonder if I would throw up at dinner!
Anyway, Kate found my little Tika cute in the clothing I chose for her! I tied her hair with a pink bow and tied a big pink bow on her collar! I chose a GLAMOUROUS outfit that was so sweet and PUNK!! It was like JASMINE & TIKA PRETTY IN PINK! I bought so many outfits and accessories! It was so weird of me to go shopping with ten guards and 2 maids behind me! What’s worst is that I had to go there in my carriage and stop by the ROADSIDE with all those people with dropped jaws staring at me! A PRINCESS STOPPING BY THE ROADSIDE IS GRANDMA’S IDEA FOR ME TO BE ‘KNOWN’. Now the whole world thinks I’m insane. It was so dramatic, believe me. I am so NOT going to stop by the roadside in a carriage forever! I don’t even need the guards and maids! Nobody knows my identity! Who would want to kill me? I don’t even want to be pampered with maids 24 hours a day. I go out for FREEDOM!
Now’s the worrying part! Dinner! Hope I don’t puke upon seeing my dinner!
Monday, 4 December, 1:30p.m.
Tomorrow’s the royal ball! I got everything fixed! Maybe not everything. Just my hair. It’s still black and straight when it’s supposed to be blonde and curly just like this:
(insert trendy store princess wear outfit pic)
it’s the one in my online outfit list. Only that mine is pink and white. I am going to be PRINCESS SWEET tomorrow! Aside from my hair, I still need to fix my fingers and get a letter from Dad to tell my teacher I’m absent tomorrow just to prepare myself. Kate and I bought little tiny walkie talkies from our school bookshop so that she can communicate with me through the whole event!
How to get Kate in:
Tell Lady Jane I have to buy something.
Go to X’mas mall to fetch Kate IN A CAB!
‘Smuggle’ Kate in and locate her in the garden.
COMPLETE!
SCHOOL was just a major disaster!
I am an ALL-SRAIGHT-Ds girl as you know so I should get D for all subjects. Well, this time, it’s a false statement.
RESULTS
BIOLOGYà D
ENGLISHàD+ (the plus means a whole lot!)
MATHSà A (A! I got an A!)
OTHERSàD
It’s so normal for me to get D but an A? it means I’m abnormal!
Tuesday, 5th December, 1:30p.m.
I did NOT manage to get a letter from Dad. Why? Because Dad said that the ball starts at 5 so NO WORRIES.
ME: NO WORRIES?! I still need to fix my hair, Dad!
DAD: How long will it take? Two hours?
ME: Sad to say, YES!
DAD: Don’t worry!
ME:I need to do a lot of things, Dad!
DAD: There would be enough time, trust me.
Just hope he’s right! I’m dying my fair, choosing my bow for the clip and hoping to perm my hair fast! I still need to fetch Kate! They’ve got Tika fixed but I still need to chose a bow for her! DISASTER!
Tuesday, 5 December, 11:30p.m.
I got my stuff worked out and brought Kate in SUCCESSFULLY. The only problem was that Kate fell out of the bush where she was hiding behind and her enemy came by and gave her a loud MEOW. Yes, her enemy is a CAT! She gave a little scream, fortunately. Nobody heard her except me! HELLO! I was on the walkie talkie with her! I can even hear a fly flying past the mouth piece of the walkie talkie.(There was this earpiece connected to the walkie talkie.) As I said, I COULD hear a fly so do you even think I couldn’t hear her LITTLE scream? It was so loud! I screamed, as expected, and the whole dance paused so dramatically. Dad asked me what was wrong and I just said I hated the music (nonsense!). This was my first experience and guess what! LITTLE MISS JASMINE was freaked out! Dad then told grandma who told Lady Jane who told the servants who told the guests who told the musicians and they all in turn left my jaws wide open! What’s wrong with this place anyway. After the whole circle, the musicians changed the music to some waltz music.
Dad found his NASTY who was so gentle and SWEET .BUT remember! Things ain’t always what they seem to be! I am so believing those fairytales that says NASTY-s are always gentle-looking but are very cruel deep down! NASTY should be the same though she looks so gentle and innocent.
SCHOOL
I was so frustrated that I scolded my science teacher! (Not everyone has the guts you know.)
Science Teacher: Jasmine!
Me: What! I know my name so you don’t have to remind me about it!
Science Teacher: What’s the matter with you!
Me: Just tell me, what’s the big idea of calling me!
Science Teacher: Jasmine Lana…
Me: Do you even know who I am?
Science Teacher: You are just a girl who has gone bonkers!
Me: Me? Bonkers? I am a princess!
*WHOLE CLASS BEGAN TO LAUGH EXCEPT KATE*
Kate: She just means she’s a Perfect Reader In National Care ‘E’( she pronounced it as AND) Share Situation.
She prepared for that! Friends are friends!
Wednesday, 6 December, 1p.m.
Today, we did have Science lesson. Nothing in particular really happened.
HOMEWPRK:
Science: Pg 93 Chapter 5 Science workbook
English: composition on ‘THE BRAD’ (like me)
Mathematics: Practice Paper VI
Bio: Pg 20 of workbook
Chemistry: NO HOMEWORK!
That’s a lot of homework to me! And what’s even worst is that I am going to have two ‘SETS’ of parents!
Mum: Listen, Jas. You are going to have a stepfather.
Me: I have a Dad. I don’t need another one.
Mum: Jas, be good and listen to your dad, okay.
Me: You don’t understand. The weirdest things always happens to me. First, dad tells me I’m a freaking PRINCESS. Then there is this ball to find me a step mother. Now, I get a stepfather.
Mum: You know everything?
Me: Absolutely!
Mum: Did your dad ask for another wife?
Me: I doubt so! Grandma forced him upon it. You knew all this royalty story all along?
Mum: Jas, do you know why me and your dad divorced?
Me: Why?
Mum: I was like you, keep in the dark when your dad woke me up and told me I was the queen of the country. I thought he was just drank at first but it turned out that he was awake all along. You do know me me, right?
I would say I am the one in the entire world who knows her from head to toe.she just likes simple and innocent. She would obviously be so angry with dad which she still is!
There’s going to be an annual ‘TALENT SHOW’ in school on Friday. This time, it is a solo performance. I chose this song called ‘I NEVER HAD A DREAM COME TRUE’. Just hope it works out perfectly!
Friday, 8 December
(TYPED HALFWAY)
(COMPO EDIT)
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Melinda. Melinda grew up without education as her family was too poor. Soon, they had no more money left for food and milk for her baby siblings.
Every year, Melinda’s birthday wish would be the same-to be rich. On Melinda’s twelve birthday, she made the same wish and an elf appeared in front of her. The elf granted her wish and gave her lots of money.
Day after day, Melinda became a spoilt girl and asked for a thousand dollars from the elf everyday.
“I must teach that girl a lesson!” exclaimed the grumpy elf after giving Melinda a year’s supply of money.
One day, Melinda went to find the elf as usual to take her money. To avoid Melinda, the elf told her that he had no more powers as he was sick so, he could not give Melinda a single cent. Melinda walked away as if nothing happened.
“That was easy,” thought the elf as he was about to jump out of bed. Just then, Melinda came back with a big rock and demanded the elf to turn it into gold. The elf gave a huge sneeze and pretended to faint. The foolish Melinda believed the elf and stormed off. However, she decided to ask for more money when the elf recovers.
The next day, Melinda went to the elf’s house. There was no sign of the elf but there was indeed a sign with a big ‘MOVED’ on it. Melinda did not know what it meant since she was not educated and so, went home.
Days past but the elf was still not seen. Soon, Melinda became a poor girl again.
That’s my last homework! Time for a beauty nap.
Saturday, 9 December, 7:00a.m.
It’s finally a weekend! No more homework! I’m going to make a time table for the activities today!
8:00a.m. to 9:00a.m. Play with Tika and clean her up
10:00a.m. to 12:00a.m. Tea time with grandma (It’s usually my breakfast time)
12:00noon to 2:00p.m. SLEEP!
2:00p.m. to 5:00p.m. Princess Schooling
5:00p.m. to 6:00p.m. Go to Hall 12 for measuring and give measurements to Alan for
clothes
6:00p.m. to 8:00p.m. Dinner
8:00p.m. to 10:00p.m. TV!
*10:00p.m. send Tika to R.P. room a.k.a Royal Pup room
TV SHOWS
8:00p.m. BAYWATCH (MUST WATCH GINGER AND MAX!)
9:00p.m. JUST LOVE (SEASON FINALE)
After watching <> I’ll go to bed and get some sleep. Just thinking about bringing Kate and Andrew over for some spa tomorrow since I would be bored to have to be alone with maids and guards marching all over the palace. Grandma, Lady Jane, Dad and everyone would be out.
YIPEE!! FREEDOM!!
I’ll just have to ring Kate up tomorrow. Have to go, the R.M. is about to start.
R.M.--> Royal Meeting
Saturday, 9 December, 8:00p.m.
Time for <>!
Anyway, Princess Schooling was fun today! Lady Jane taught me how to greet a Prince because when I reach twenty, I would be meeting a billion princes to just find my prince charming. WOHOO! That would be in seven years’ time. I’m thirteen so is Kate. Kate has a boyfriend but I don’t! There’s only one good thing about me, I am a Princess yet she’s not. I have to call her now.
ME: Can you and Andrew come over for some spa tomorrow?
KATE: how can I decline a royal offer but, will they agree?
ME: Who? Oh, Grandma? No worries, they would never know. They would be in the city waving like morons.
KATE: I’ll just meet Andrew out tomorrow
YAHOO!! <> has started. Have to prepare everything SECRETLY and watch <> at the same time!! BUSY!!
Sunday, 10 December, 2:00p.m.
I just came back from the Royal Bathroom. It has a family bathtub that can allow up to 20 people in it. I call it the Spa Room. You can’t find a bathtub like that anywhere else. I told the maids to put rose petals and bubbles so it looks totally PROFESSIONAL. I prepared three diver’s suit for us. It’s the safest thing you can find! They’re here!
Sunday, 10 December, 9:00p.m.
We had tons of fun! I bought Tika in too. She was so happy! We wore the ‘SWIMSUITS’. I put flippers onto Tika! They were so small. Tika was so cute!I even put on little goggles for her and put in squeaky toys for her to play with. Tika really could swim! She can swim even better and more graceful than me. I told the maids not to tell anyone anything unless threatened so those waving royalty members would not know. I have a feeling they would know… Oh well, they don’t know at least for the time being. They’re still receiving tons of flowers and teddy bears which Dad would give to his little princess. School starts tomorrow! I better pack my bag and tell the maids to clean up the spa!
Monday, 11 December, 1:30p.m.
I am so happy, YES I AM! I just sort of ‘revenged’.
ENGLISH TEACHER: Shanna, where’s your composition?
SHANNA: I didn’t do it.
ENGLISH TEACHER: Shanna, you need hat piece of composition to pass your English test!
SHANNA: Hey, do you even know who or what I am? (SHE COPIED ME!)
ENGLISH TEACHER: You are just an arrogant girl who needs to learn from her mistakes!
SHANNA: You are so wrong, DARLING! I’m a PRINCESS! (OH SHUT UP, DARLING!)
ME: Pathetic, Reckless, Imitation, Nasty, Cruel, Evil, Selfish, SHUT UP!
*Whole class laughs their heads off including Shanna’s best friends*
Dear Shanna ran out of the class with her last glance glued to our class weirdo, Simon, who was so LAUGHING OUT LOUD. The worst thing is, when she was about to grab her bag and storm out of the classroom, her bag was stuck onto the chair! Must be a prank by the class joker. After she realized how embarrassed she was, she immediately took out all her things and dashed out of the class. That was way too hilarious! She left that poor bag behind! If I were the bag, I would be elated to know that I’m free!
In story books, girls like Shanna normally have millions of admirers but Shanna has none. She likes the CLASS WEIRDO when she should be dating with handsome guys instead of weirdo guys. Simon doesn’t LOVE her. Since Simon has some sort of SERIOUS pronunciation problem, he calls Shanna SHAME! I suppose that’s how Shanna DEAR is feeling now. SHAME!
I’m not cruel to her. It’s just that it’s the truth! She is so NOT a princess like JASMINE LANA LAFAIR ALEXANDRA! She admits she’s a princess in this palace but I have never ever seen her since I moved in. I asked everyone in the palace if they have seen her and this were the replies,
GRANDMA: Shanna what?
LADY JANE: I’m sorry, but I know nobody with that name.
DAD: That’s your classmate but not a princess.
MAIDS: There is no such princess here, Princess Jasmine.
What did I tell you! That’s what I use to prove that she is totally utterly extremely enormously not a princess. N-O-T!
By the way, something I hate is about to happen! Tomorrow’s dinner would b such a disaster! It would be a meal with NASTY!! I need a new dress from Ala who took my measurements days ago. The stupid thing is that I have wear green! DARK GREEN! Princess Jasmine hates dark green!! I would look so NASTY!
I just found out something.
NASTYàSELINA DOUGLES
EVILàLENNY JAMES
How I wish NASTY and EVIL can marry leaving my parents alone. After that, my parents will remarry and there we have it! Happy ending! The problem is with Mum. She loves EVIL but Dad does not love NASTY. Adults’ world is so confusing! I don’t want to know!
Tuesday, 12 December,2:00p.m.
GROSS GROSS GROSS!
Andrew just sort of proposed to Kate! RETARDED MORON!
ANDREW: Will you marry me?
KATE: Ye..
ME: Got to blast! *GRABS KATE AND RUNS*
ME: (whispers) GROSS..
KATE: What were you doing!
ME: Saving you from major disaster.
KATE: You were ruining my life!
ME: I helped you! Why give me that fierce look, DARLING!
KATE: You are so jealous of me!
ME: What! Why would I be!
KATE: ‘Cause you have no boyfriend that sweet!
ME: I would VOMIT if my boyfriend did that, DARLING!
KATE: The problem is, you have no boyfriends, SWEETHEART!
ME: I will have when I reach twenty, DARLING!
KATE: Don’t even bother! That would be so SEVEN YEARS, SWEETHEART!
ME: I would meet lots of PRINCE CHARMING, DARLING!
KATE: SHUT UP, MISS JEALOUS!
ME: ME? MISS JEALOUS? You will regret, MISS GROSS!
KATE: WHAT!
ME: You are MISS GROSS!
KATE: AM NOT!
ME: Just shut up!!
And that’s that! She quarreled with someone who saved her life. Have to wash sweetie Tika or Grandma would say I’m not responsible and she would restrict me from the ROYAL PUP ROOM!
Tuesday, 12 December, 8:00p.m.
Is today my unlucky day? I went to dinner with that NASTY with a feeling nothing good would happen and it was true! She was so NASTY to give me a DISGUSTING meal! She ordered all those lettuce dishes for me!
“It’s healthy,” she would say.
“It’s yucky!” I would whisper.
She got me:
LETTUCE SOUP
STEAMED FISH WITH LETTUCE
GREEN SALAD
LETTUCE ICE-CREAM
NASTY! I am SO NOT GOING TO EAT LETTUCE FOR A MONTH!
NASTY! NASTY! NASTY!
Wednesday, 13 December, 1:30p.m.
It’s two days away from the Talent Show and I am NOT nervous. It’s not like the first time I’m performing on stage. I’ve performed for years! Besides, I’ve been performing ever since I came in to this marvelous place with my cute little Tika.
By the way, Miss Gross has NOT apologized to me! She is so trusting that Andrew of hers. She just thinks princess Jasmine has only one friend BUT I have Ashley and Simon! I went to break with Ashley today. Simon was sitting beside her. It was obvious he has fallen for her. I admit Ashley is the prettiest and most polite girl in school unlike Miss Gross! A little ‘SORRY’ would kill Kate Gross!
Anyway, Grandma looks really happy today. She is about to announce something. Don’t know what it is. HOPEFULLY not about Dad and me!
Wednesday, 13 December, 8:00p.m.
OH MY DEAR! The thing that was making Grandma happy is not what makes me and Dad happy. NO WAY! NASTY is going to be my Mum in seven days’ time! It made Dad so unhappy! He had to fake a smile though. My life is such a disaster! Lettuce lettuce everyday! She might even change my pink and white-s into green and more green! I’m only left with seven days of peace! Someone help me! How I wish I’m not a princess for this once! I’ll play my head off tomorrow!!
Thursday, 14 December, 3:00p.m.
I am so full after eating my burger from ‘JASPER’S BURGER’.
(insert banner for JASPER’S BURGER)
I went over to Grandma’s thinking that obviously she would say NO if I told her I wanted to eat fast food BUT Grandma agreed! Maybe she has been through all this when she was young. It’s now break time for Princess Schooling. Lady Jane kept on stuffing homework to me! GREAT! Even a teddy bear with too much stuffing will burst! I was so stressed that I yelled and demanded her to STOP stuffing me with those stupid homework. Yup, I bursted. Lady Jane was shocked by me and she stopped. I thought she was going to kill me. At least she’s afraid of me sometimes. Tomorrow’s the day! I need a super nice dress so that ‘PRINCESS SHANNA’ wouldn’t say I’m dull. Should it be tube with jeans or dress? They’re both nice. Boots or heals? Oh well, that’s for tomorrow. It’s the designer’s job, not mine.
Miss Gross’s boyfriend broke up with her for whatsoever reason. This would teach her a lesson! She still did not know what was wrong and scolded me!
KATE: You were the one!
ME: Who saved you!
KATE: No, you did not! If it wasn’t for you, Andrew would not have…
ME: SHUT UP.
Because of that boyfriend of hers, she lost such a good friend or should I say, PRINCESS. Not everybody is as lucky as her and she doesn’t cherish it. Chances only come once, take it or leave it. Oh well, she chose to leave it, Ashley and Simon took it and look! They have a royal friend! The fact is that they don’t know. Should I or should I not tell them? Since it’s a secret, I’ll just leave it as it is. yes, I do trust them just like I used to trust Kate but look what happened! She doesn’t even care. I doubt she did not tell that boyfriend of hers. Andrew Watsons must have been effected by our class flirt, James. It’s none of my business anymore since she’s my EX-FRIEND. She thinks I have no friends but in the end, she’s the one friendless. Oh, I better answer the phone.
3:15
Guess who was on the line?
KATE: Hi… I’m…
ME: What? You want to tell me that I am just a princess and it’s no big deal? DARLING, save your breath. I helped you and you didn’t thank me but thought that I am a person who wants to make you and Andrew break up so that I can get your attention and be so happy and shout YAY. Sorry, that’s wrong. If I didn’t save you, you would be so crying for the rest of your life when you hear this six alphabets, A-N-D-R-E-W. If you are here tell me JASMINE ALEXANDRA, YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND I’VE EVER HAD SO LEAVE ME ALONE FOR GOODNESS’S SAKE then put down that phone of yours.
*There was silence*
ME: No?
KATE: I called just to say sorry.
ME: Oops.
KATE: I’m really sorry about what I said.
ME: It’s… okay.
After that, I put down the receiver. I was so embarrassed to say a pile of trash! Hope I win the Talent Show tomorrow!
Friday, 15 December, 12 noon
The contest is about to start! I am not nervous, not even a little. Okay, maybe just a little tiny bit. I’m the third contestant. I hope it would be great!
12:15
It’s over! I did my best and I think I did great! Hope I can be first so that Grandma, Dad, Lady Jane and everyone in the palace would be proud of me including Mum(THE ORIGINAL ONE). Let’s wait for the results!
1:15
‘Princess Shanna’ was in the contest too but she got third. I got…FIRST! I told you I was great! Now Grandma would be so proud of her Grand daughter! THE ORIGINAL ONE!
7:00
I told Grandma about my victory and she told everybody she saw today! She told almost the whole royal family. She told NASTY and I had to fake a smile when she congratulated me for winning. She even requested for me to PERFORM TO CELEBRATE THE ARRIVAL OF MY NEW MOTHER. WHAT?! I would do it to make Dad happy but NOT to celebrate that BRILLIANT stuff. I gave her a yes and gave her an obviously fake smile to piss her off. I DO NOT want to celebrate the marriage of my Dad and NASTY. NASTY is so NASTY! I’ll have to practice the dance moves and the song to cheer Dad up that day.
Anyway, if I were NASTY, I would not marry my Dad not that my Dad is not handsome or what but because…
MY DAD IS THIRTY AND SHE IS ONLY EIGHTEEN!
She can be my sister! My Dad was only seventeen when he became a FATHER! Unbelievable right? It’s quite weird to have a one year ld call you Dad when you are only EIGHTEEN. To girls today, it’s nothing but boys! INCREDIBLE!
Grandma forced my Dad to marry some sort of pretty Princess named Luciana mancha evans but my mum was more charming. My Dad had a ‘love’ that time who is of course, my Mum. Grandma told him to find a wife within a day or else he would marry Princess Luciana. He had no choice but to propose to my mum.
The school holidays have started! I know I know, my holidays are so weird. St. Alexandra is a school like no other. The holiday is from 18 December to 18 February so the holiday starts next Monday. HOORAY!!
Saturday, 16 December, 12:30p.m.
It’s weird that nobody woke me up today but allowed me to sleep to my heart’s content. Ever since I came in to the palace, I have to wake up early in the morning for all those meeting and stuff. Maybe the maids did try to wake me up but could not so they let me sleep. Whatever it is, I’m feeling super fresh! I just taught Tika a new trick which I call ‘THE BANG BANG DEAD TRICK’. Tika looks so cute doing it. Tika is also a Royal member. Her mother is Grandma’s Royal dog, Tina. Tika is just one of the tens puppies. Every night, I will bring Tika to the R.P. room which is the size of MY ROOM but only with 12 dogs. 1 mummy, 10 puppies AND 1 daddy. Tika’s Dad has half of the room to himself and the other half to the mummy and babies. He’s quite pitiful. Whenever I go into the room, the pups would run to me and their Dad would be trying to climb over his fence. I would sometimes carry him over BUT bring the mum to the other side or else Grandma would scold me if they give birth to any more puppies without her permission. Tina was usually Grandma’s and the male was Grandpa’s but he’s dead. The pups are really troublesome when it comes to busy days like my Dad and SELINA’s, who gave me the phobia, wedding day or should I say, the day before that too. Grandma would be so happy and I would be so angry. Dad would be so acting and she would too. Hope there ain’t any lettuce on the dinner night!
NASTY: My dear daughter, this is ESPICIALLY for you. Enjoy your phobia meal, I mean HEALTHY MEAL.
Oh, shut up. I would rather eat my extremely ‘SAY-NO-TO-IT’ carrots then that! Just hope there isn’t even a little tiny piece of lettuce. If there is, I would skip it and perform on stage right away throughout the whole DINNER. After that, I’ll make DARLING STEP MOTHER hate lettuce like she hates…what does she hate anyway? Oh, never mind. If she hates lettuce, I would be safe! Brilliant plan! An all straight Ds girl can think of a good plan too, you know! Don’t ever look down on us!
9:30
The shows today are so FAKE and boring. Thinking about it, it is NONSENSICAL too. They tell us about couples marrying and then divorcing and then marrying the same person again and after that, DIVORCE. The cycle goes on and on. If it happens to my family, I would love it! Just stop at the remarrying part and it would be a happy ending.
Sunday, 17 December, 10:00a.m.
GROSS! That’s how I’m feeling! G-R-O-S-S!
GRANDMA: Good morning, everyone. Today, I have a very important thing to announce to you. I am postponing Ken and Selina’s, who are my son and a princess from the palace of GRINLAND respectively, wedding.
ME: HURRAY!
LADY JANE: Where are your manners, Jasmine.
ME: I can’t seem to find them, Lady Jane.
DAD: Jasmine.
GRANDMA: The wedding would be postponed from the 20th to… the 18th!
ME: WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!
GRANDMA: Do you have any problems with that, Jasmine?
ME: I have a…
DAD: No, mother, she has no problems with that.
GRANDMA: Good. Go give Tika her breakfast now, would ya?
ME: Yes, GRANDMA! But I still have a…
DAD: She doesn’t know where the food is placed.
GRANDMA: Jasmine, you have been taking care of Tika for almost a month and you still do not know where to get the food?
ME: I…
DAD: DON’T.
ME: DAD! Let me say my opinion!
DAD: Go ahead then.
ME: Grandma, THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I don’t need a stepmother! I don’t, I don’t I don’t!
LADY JANE: JASMINE! GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!
ME: I don’t want to! I hate her! She gave me those disgusting LETTUCE when we went to dinner with her. She told you she gave me what I wanted! That’s a lie! A BLACK LIE!
GRANDMA: What’s a BLACK LIE?
ME: The opposite of a white lie.
GRANDMA: Interesting.
ME: Grandma, she’s a liar. She gave me the phobia already!
LADY JANE: ENOUGH, JASMINE! I’ll give you extra homework for PRINCESS SCHOOLING today.
ME: Whatever you say! I’ve said my opinion. What happens, you decide, Grandma. Dad doesn’t love her.
GRANDMA: Jasmine, when we marry, our parents tell us who to marry. We don’t say I love you or you love me. The wedding is STILL on.
ME: Unreasonable!
I stormed away. That is so NOT FAIR! Other people can at least persuade their parents not to get married but not me! Princess life is so not good! I want to be the old JASMINE! My life is doomed! How I wish I can wake up from this dream and see my parents together and our happy family without royalty and all those dumb things. NO NASTY, NO EVIL, NO DIVORCE!
JASLENE, KEN
&
JASMINE
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Is what I yearn for but it would never happen since Mum has found herself a LENNY JAMES and dumped KEN LANA LAFAIR ALEXANDRA into the hands of SELINA DOUGLES because she HATES royalty.
Before things got bad, we have had wonderful memories as one ORDINARY family. We thought of calling m baby brother Ben if I had one and Jaselia for my baby sister. It would never happen now that all these happened. Giving me a brother or sister would only happen to HAPPY JASLENE AND LENNY. Jaslene is no more JASLENE LANA LAFAIR ALEXANDRA BUT JASLENE JAMES. Brilliant.
Monday, 18 December, 5:00p.m.
Today’s the big day. I don’t think I can even walk to the dining room. I have the flu and fever. Lucky for me, I don’t have to go to the ‘I DO’ ceremony. Just pray that my fate wouldn’t be the same as my Dad. The maids have just taken my temperature. I am BURNING. That means I’m restricted from the lettuce! It’s the less hour my Dad stays single. How I wish mum would rush in and yell, ‘THEY CANNOT MARRY!’ I would love the sound of that. After that, Dad runs to mum and mum runs to him and they hug and NASTY gets angry and he proposes and there we have it! HAPPY ENDING! For once in my life, I love those nonsensical shows!
GOD BLESS DADDY!
7:00
I’m feeling no better and I just had my porridge which is the best thing I ever tasted in this whole entire world! We eat abalone, shark fin and whatsoever but it’s just something to shut me up. If I go to the ‘I DO’ ceremony and object them from marrying, they can use those abalones to threaten me.
I heard that Dad hesitated before he said those two killer words. He still loves mum. He does, he does, he does! It was all Grandma’s fault. If she was not there, Dad would say I DON’T! they’re about to have their super disgusting dinner organized by HER. NASTY her! I have to go perform later on. I insist. It’s the only thing I can do to cheer my dad up.
Tuesday, 19 December. 7:00a.m.
My forehead is still burning! I did perform my best and dad was happy but I almost fainted! I had the porridge yesterday and just now. It is so marvelous! NASTY just came in with a bowl of bird nest. Should I eat it or not. I might as well eat it since I’m sick. If I get poisoned, nobody would suspect her since I am sick and they would think my stupid fever killed me. Just hope it does taste like bird’s nest.
It tastes good! I don’t really suspect the bird’s nest fern. Maybe for just this once, she’s good. Although I’m sick, mum still wants me to go to lunch, she wants to kill her grand daughter!
2:00p.m.
Do I even have to call her ‘MUMMY’?
*I entered the dining room and sits down on my throne with thick jackets to keep me warm*
Grandma: Are you alright, Jasmine?
Me: No, I’m not. *GRINS*
Grandma: How was the bird’s nest your MUM brought you?
Me: Mum? She wasn’t here. Mum’s a busy woman, you know.
*Lady Jane kicks me*
Me: OUCH!
Grandma: Your mum is here.
Me: She is NOT.
Grandma: No matter what, she is your mum.
Me: Jaslene is my mum, my only one!
I should have stayed in bed! Dad was so FAKE! I would rather have no brother or sister from that NASTY and dad.
Wednesday, 20 December, 1:00p.m.
I am feeling no better. The maids are the only ones who took care of me! Grandma restricted dad from me so that he and SOMEONE can give birth to a chubby baby unlike me. Thirteen and still so sturborn. She just blames mum. It’s because of my laziness. It is so obvious. Just hope their child cheers up grandma.
I am going to hold a maids’ sleepover to thank them for their lovely porridge and their care. I really appreciated it! I’ll just give out the invitations. I just have to pin it up and there we have it! A sleepover at princess’s room!
Thursday, 21 December, 3:00p.m.
I am feeling so much better because of the nice maids! I’ll print out the notice and invitations later. I need a contract for grandma to sign and approve.
I would surely invite maid Jessy! I just love her!
5:00p.m.
Grandma definitely signed the contract! It was because of her grand daughter! I told her how pitiful the maids were and she was so touched. (it was nothing, really) I’ve printed out the notice and invitations, gave them out and pinned them up. It is very troublesome to even hold a sleepover when you’re a princess!
P.S. Tomorrow’s the sleepover! Can’t wait!
Friday, 22 December, 5:00p.m.
The EVERYTHING is here! I just need to choose a pyjamas. There are THREE WABRODES FULL of those night dresses! That is crazy if you ask me! The maids should be coming in by 6:50! I will make an ‘annoucement’ for them to leave work at 6:00. (I know I told grandma to let them off latest by 6:45 but PRINCESSES don’t like waiting!) one more hour before the announcement making! I better bring Tika to the RP room to meet her parents! I just love the sight of their family!
Friday, 22 December, 6:15p.m.
I just realized it is already 6:15! I was playing with Tika and family until I was feeling ‘happily ever after’ when NASTY came in and saw that Tika’s dad was out of his cage into the family’s. BIG DEAL! She went to tell Grandma! That’s why I hate the sight of her! Better make the announcement now!
6:25p.m.
I made the announcement and there again, was NASTY. She was so irritating. I feel like putting TONS of hazard warning symbols on her! Maids are starting to come in! YIPEE! We are going to have our games now! I bought Tika and her family including her dad over! The maids love grooming them up. Here’s our burger! DIG IN!
Saturday, 23 December, 8:00a.m.
The sleepover was so fun! We slept at 2 midnight because it was so fun! Tika was so cute! We had snakes and the ‘SHARE IT’ section! They shared their experience in the palace and they had humiliating stories that made me laugh my heart out! Dad joined us after NASTY and all slept. It was a total ROYAL SLEEPOVER! The guards, who were supposed to protect me from some crazy terrorist, were invited in!
We had ‘PIN THE CROWN ON THE KING’ and a birthday piñata! There were presents in the piñata for the maids! The happy smiles would last from today onwards! The maids seldom smile and laugh their hearts out. Everytime they see me from now on, they would smile to me! That’s a good sign, a really good one!
From today on, I know the true meaning of, being with someone who cherishes you.
-END-
THE END♥
